


on my knees for you

by kenhinasuga



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Kneeling, M/M, Mentioned Oikawa Tooru, Mutual Pining, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Past Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Post-Time Skip, back again with no plot just feelings, but non-sexual only for symbolism, but only the conclusion bc i avoid yearning like the weak bitch i am, i think that sums it up??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:42:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29047083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenhinasuga/pseuds/kenhinasuga
Summary: The wall is crumbling and Tobio gives the final push.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	on my knees for you

**Author's Note:**

> listen this was not supposed to happen i was supposed to finish one of three kenhinas for my friend’s bday that’s already passed now or finally FINALLY finish the second chapter for my oskt fic but no iwakage came, saw and conquered and now here we are
> 
> anywayyyyy first time trying to write iwa and i'm not sure i was successful but i hope it's still enjoyable i just needed to get this out of my system

“I had a crush on you in middle school,” Tobio says like he’s talking about what he had for dinner the day before, like Hajime isn’t kneeling in front of him with his fingers digging into his right thigh to take care of the cramp he complained about earlier. It’s not exactly a secret. Looking back at middle school, Hajime _knows_. Even though in those memories Tobio is only a glance, a blur in the corner of his eyes, Hajime always looking somewhere else, he knew then and he knows now.

He looks up at him and Tobio is looking back, eyes intense in a way that betrays his nonchalant words. There’s a sudden lump stuck in Hajime’s throat and he finds it hard to swallow. He lets go of Tobio’s thigh, fingers tingling with the sensation of having been burned, and clears his throat. “Better?” He asks and leans back, not trusting himself to stand up, but skin crawling with the need to put more distance between them. Tobio flexes his leg and puts some weight on it, nodding with a small “Thanks”. He looks at Hajime again, gaze piercing into him, but doesn’t say anything else.

There’s a fragile wall between them, invisible and close to crumbling. Hajime knows they’ve been slowly chipping away at it. A graze of fingers, eyes catching on each other just a moment too long, the subtle weight of a silence that demands to be broken when it’s just the two of them. Small moments that leave more and more cracks in the wall, exposing the vulnerable secret it was built to protect.

Tobio leans forward, right into Hajime’s space. His breath ghosts across his cheek and Hajime’s fingers curl into his shorts, holding back, holding himself together, he isn’t sure which. Tobio sits back again and reveals his water bottle, unscrewing the cap and taking a small sip. He looks perfectly calm, but Hajime is close enough to see the red on the tips of his ears peeking through the short strands of his hair. It’s both, he decides, and slowly gets up.

“Did you see Oikawa-san’s game?” Tobio asks quietly and Hajime stops mid-straightening, frozen in a weird crouch. The tension between them is immediate, clogging his lungs with its intensity. Tooru’s name never has such an effect with anyone else, but with just the two of them it carries a weight that can kill. Hajime forces himself to straighten. He knows what Tobio is really trying to ask, but he always avoids his implication, and Tobio lets him, again and again. “Yeah, he’s still a sore loser,” he jokes with a fake-laugh and that should be the end of the conversation, but Tobio continues without explanation, “He called me.”

The tension is starting to crush Hajime’s lungs, weighing down on him so heavily he’s ready to crumble. He sits down on the bench opposite Tobio, focusing on his breathing and trying to force air back into his lungs. “You broke up with him,” Tobio states simply, “before he went to Argentina.” There’s no accusation in his words, just voicing the facts like he would after a game. Hajime can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad one. “Yeah, I did,” he replies honestly even though he’d rather lie. His history with Tooru isn’t a secret, their breakup isn’t something he regrets, but it feels like an admission of something else, taking a step towards the very thing he’s been avoiding. Tobio just hums quietly, avoiding his eyes.

There it is again, the opening for him to run away from Tobio, from the crumbling wall between them, adding another day until the inevitable comes crashing down on them. Hajime wants to take it, like he always does, but his lungs are still being crushed and he isn’t sure running away is going to fix it this time. “Tobio-kun,” he starts and Tobio’s eyes snap towards him. Hajime feels his jaw tightening, inhaling sharply through gritted teeth and forcing out the rest of his words, “Why does it matter?” His question is met by a frown and silence so loud he can almost pretend he doesn’t hear the wall between them crumbling to rubble.

Tobio leans forward and drags his hand over his face and into his hair, leaving the short strands sticking up in different directions. It doesn’t look like he’s going to answer and Hajime almost feels relieved. He bends his knees, ready to leave and force the opening closed, when Tobio says something. It’s too quiet for him to hear and he instinctively inches forward on the bench, bridging some of the distance between them. “What?” He asks clumsily and Tobio straightens, hands gripping his knees and eyes squeezing shut. “It matters because I like you,” he says too loud for the quiet of the empty locker room, words almost echoing.

The rubble evaporates just like that, any remains of the wall between them gone for good. Hajime inhales sharply and holds his breath, counting to ten before letting go. He slides off the bench and kneels before Tobio again. There’s nothing to separate them anymore, no carefully built safety measure to stop them from colliding, and Hajime scoots forward until he’s between Tobio’s legs. He grazes his knuckles against Tobio’s hands and slowly uncurls his fists, covering his hands with his own. Tobio’s eyes flutter open almost in slow-motion, like he’s fighting himself to keep them closed. Hajime knows exactly what he’s expecting to find.

This is it, the moment he’s been avoiding since the beginning, and now that it’s here, it’s almost laughable how much fear he’s fed it until now, a monster without teeth and claws. He looks at Tobio quietly for a moment longer before tapping his wrists. Tobio blinks at him with a frown, but then, uncertainty written on his face for all the world to see, he slowly, achingly slowly, turns over his hands, and Hajime curls his fingers around his palms. He squeezes reassuringly, grounding himself in the feeling of skin-on-skin, a sensation familiar and yet brand new.

“I like you, too,” he finally admits and the moment that had him cowering in fear like a child in the face of a nightmare concludes in silence. They’re both quiet, looking at each other, and Hajime waits for a crash, an explosion, _something_. It’s none of that, just warm silence and then the almost unsettling sensation of floating. All the crushing weight of two years of yearning disappears like it never existed in the first place and it’s euphoria and liberation and nothing like he thought. Better, infinitely better.

“Okay,” Tobio interrupts his realisation in a small voice and Hajime laughs, bubbling out of him bright and easy. He slides even closer and lets go of Tobio’s hands, reaching for his face instead and stopping just short of touching. “Can I?” He asks, meaning permission to touch, but also more, and Tobio nods. Hajime cups his face and Tobio sighs softly, relief and contentment captured in a single quiet sound. Hajime leans up and presses his forehead against Tobio’s, more laughter slipping past his lips. “That was way easier than I expected,” he admits in between hiccups of gentle laughter and Tobio’s forehead bumps against his, probably trying to nod in agreement. Hajime chuckles and returns the bump softly. “I really want to kiss you now,” he says like he hasn’t swallowed those words time and time again, perfected the art of eating them up until they started eating him instead. Tobio’s reply is almost instant, breath rushing out and fanning across Hajime’s face. “Please.”

Hajime inhales shakily and leans back, taking in the slight flush on Tobio’s cheeks. His eyes are closed and his lips parted, breathing shallowly, and Hajime commits the sight to memory. He inches closer bit by bit until he’s too close to keep his eyes open and presses his lips against Tobio’s softly, just enough pressure to feel it. Time doesn’t stand still, his heart doesn’t burst, but it’s perfect. He pulls back and Tobio’s eyes flutter open. “I’m not fragile, Iwa-san,” he says with the semblance of a pout and Hajime _knows_ , but maybe he’s the one feeling fragile right now. It’s a challenge nonetheless and he doesn’t work in competitive sports for the participation reward, he likes to win just as much as all the ambitious idiots he’s surrounded himself with.

“You asked for it,” Hajime warns teasingly and slides his hand onto Tobio’s nape, pulling him in. He takes a moment to appreciate the instant reaction, Tobio’s eyes fluttering shut and lips parting around a small gasp, but then he slots his lips against Tobio’s again and kisses him with purpose. It takes a little before they find their rhythm, but then Hajime wishes time would stand still so he could live in the feeling of Tobio’s mouth and tongue, could keep going with his heart permanently teetering on the edge of bursting. He kisses him until his lungs burn, breaking away only to gulp in air, and then returns to Tobio’s lips like the starved man he is. It feels both like winning and losing, but he’s going to leave keeping score to Tobio, he’s more experienced at keeping score for a lifetime than he is anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading !!!! as always comments/thoughts/feedback are all appreciated ^__^ i hope someone else has Feelings for iwakage bc they just hit me out of the blue and now i'm not letting them go heh
> 
> writer's block has now turned into a million plot bunnies and zero attention span to write so this was a pleasant surprise even though it's once again, well, no plot :((( but i'm going to indulge myself in whatever i actually manage to write so again: thank you for reading (and sorry if you read all my notes i'm a clown)


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